You’ve heard it a million times but it bears repeating: even the strongest relationships face challenges. Building a happy, healthy partnership takes work and may not always be easy, especially when there’s been a breach of trust. “Issues are a part of life and a part of being in a relationship,” So, you do you go about that? Here are some tips on how to fix a damaged relationship to get you started, whether you’re dealing with the fallout from a betrayal or trying to keep a long-distance relationship going.
Some Solutions to Fix a Damaged Relationship
When there’s been a breach of trust
Anytime trust is broken, there’s going to be a rift in the relationship. It might be painful to face, but leaving these issues unaddressed won’t help anyone in the long run.
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Take full responsibility if you’re at fault
If there has been infidelity or trust has been broken, it’s important to take full responsibility for what happened and be understanding of how your behavior hurt your partner. Avoid becoming defensive or sidestepping your mistake, but don’t fall into self-loathing either. “You should own it in a loving way that creates the space to start to rebuild trust,”
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Allow your partner to win your trust back
While you have every right to feel hurt and angry, there should be a desire to work on the relationship. “Trust can never be restored until the person whose trust was broken allows their partner a chance to earn it back,”
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Practice radical transparency
Instead of bottling up emotions, I encourage couples to be “radically transparent” with each other about what has hurt them. This involves truly getting it all out there, even if you feel a bit silly or self-conscious admitting certain things.
If you’re the one who broke the trust, this also involves being radically transparent with yourself about what motivated you to do so. Was it simply a lapse in judgment? Or was it an attempt to sabotage a situation you didn’t know how to get out of?
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Seek professional help
Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship. If there’s been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified spells caster like Prof. Jabu specializes in relationships and can guide healing.
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Manage expectations
Discuss with your partner and set ground rules that take into account your exclusiveness and commitment to each other. Being honest and upfront about your expectations from the beginning can prevent things from going wrong down the road.
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Don’t let your world revolve around your partner
While it’s important to pay attention to fostering closeness in a long-distance relationship, that aspect shouldn’t consume you. No matter how much you miss the other person, don’t forget about other important areas of your life. Keep up with your hobbies and interests — a happy and healthy relationship partly involves you being each partner their person.
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Use skilled communication
Once tempers have calmed down, it’s important to make sure you both have a chance to get your points across. Try to give each person space to communicate their point of view. “Being open and honest about one’s thoughts and intentions about the relationship itself and the future can restore — or newly create — a sense of safety” in the relationship.
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Speak from your heart
For your partner to truly hear you, it’s important to communicate what you’re feeling below all the tension.
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Actively listen
If you catch yourself forming a rebuttal in your head as your significant other is talking, you’re not listening. “You’re getting ready to defend yourself or go to battle,” “Winning” an argument is never truly winning, she adds. “If your partner feels that they lost, it will likely contribute to more distance, tension, and resentment, so in the long run, you lose too.”
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Break the pattern
When rebuilding the relationship, Prof. Jabu advises considering it a new one, rather than saving an old one. “Seeing it this way creates an opportunity for defining rules and boundaries from the beginning.” This means striving to understand and work through underlying issues as well as letting go of past resentments you’ve been holding onto.
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